Magneto & Professor X...

What if Magneto & Professor X put aside their beef and joined forces...I mean no one could fuck with them right? Where Professor X falls short or is weak, Magneto picks up the slack and vice versa. Together they would make up the ultimate duo! So my goal.....find my Magneto, I want my partner to have the qualities that would enable them to be my greatest foe (minus the evil intentions) all my short coming are his strengths and vice versa. So what are my weak points....

1. attention span... I can get distracted very easily, so Magneto has to be able to stay focused for extended periods of time
2. Metaphysically speaking.... i can get caught up in philosophizing about life and its possible realities. What we could do, and should do. Our boundless possibilities and capabilities as being that are both spiritual and physical , so Magneto has to be able to meet me on these planes but be able to implement plans and take my ideas and help form them into actions.
3. health....I am so-so with this, I go to the gym and try to eat healthy but you know a sister loves Mountain Dew and Altiods to no end, so Magneto needs to be health focus and conscious and disciplined.
4. Finances.... I am a a HUGE shopper I can rationalize any and all purchases and after spending $250 I can put together a spreadsheet that shows how I really saved $500, so Magento needs to be able to put together a real budget and stick to it, and needs to be able to withstand the draw of 80% mark downs.

So those are the 4 areas that I think I need the most work on, if you know of any other area that I need to work on feel free to post a comment with ya name or anonymously..... I will continue to work on the four and keep an eye out for my Magneto. Cause when we link up...its gonna be on, and no one is gonna be able to mess with us! Leaping over babymama drama, extramarital affairs, and jus plan boredom with a single bound!

My Booty...

Have you seen that Nike ad about a woman loving the size of her butt? I love it! But to be perfectly honest I have a love hate relationship with my booty. I mean I will go all out to find the perfect pair of booty jeans that hug me just right but complain all the way through about why the waist and hips dont both fit... My booty is envied by some and pitied by others. My booty has even had a song written about it... I mean i know Mos Def was talking about me when he said "ass so fat, you can see it from the front!" I cant walk down the street without lustful stares from dudes...and evil glares from chicks.. I mean i didnt ask for this booty...and at one time thought that lunges & squats would strink it....little did I know they just made it rounded and sit higher! So here's a shout out to all the Ms. Fat Bootys!

YBB Brunch #2....

So this past Sunday was the 2nd gathering of the Young Black & Beautiful Brunch. Russatta hosted it....and did an amazing job! This was her first ever time hosting any type of gathering and to do it for 20 folks is a task to say the least. As always we had a blast... in addition we have given ourselves a task.. for the April gathering each of us are going to bring a protege between the ages of 8-16 and go on a field trip. We haven't decided where yet but we are all looking forward to it. We are looking for ways to positively influence their lives and the first step is to have them around positive folks, with drive and ambition! The task came out of a topic that was put before the group..."we are the members of our families who have so called made it or doing progressive things. How do we pull other family members along with us, even the ones who dont realize that they may be headed down the wrong path. How do we break the cycle of poverty, and the detrimental effects of socio-ecomonic strife." I continued to be amazed at how different and similar our realities are, at the same time- regardless of our backgrounds or family structure.



Next month it is on to Oshadi's Space!

more pics

Billie Bread....

Yeast, Flour, Butter, Salt, Sugar, Water....
The ingredients sit on the kitchen table and I conjure up an image of my Grandma as I start to mix them together to make the bread ...once the yeast is mixed with the warm water I now smell my Grandma also..... and her image begins to move in my mind. I see her sitting at the funny shaped kitchen table kneading the bread with her huge powerful arms. We all loved we she came to visit, because we knew that grandma Billie was gonna make her famous rolls. As I sit here and think back, I dont think she ever came over and didnt make them. My dad loved them......we all did. We would always smell the rolls long before they were done. "not yet, the bread has to rise again" she would say. The smell teased us, at least me. "Run to the corner and get me the paper, and snuff, when u come back you can punch the flour down" I would tear off, running to get the Sunday paper with the funnies, with a smile on my face cause I knew that grandma was gonna give me at least a quarter for going to the store!

Touch me....

I lay in bed and he lays next to me.. we just talk and bullshit. Ever so often our legs brush or our hands touch as we punctuate a word, thought or story with body movement. Jazz is playing in the background and the Brooklyn night sounds blend in with Coltrane. A voice I find irresistible begins to sing the words to a song I love..."who is this?" I question and challenge him. He lists a few names...none of them are her. "Damn.... dont you know Nina when you hear her!" Nina sings to me "And you know that she will trust you.. For you've touched her perfect body with your mind."

Touch...Physical and mental is needed. We dont touch each other enough. Not sexually touch... just human touch. I crave human touch, it fills me up and rejuvenates my soul. A hug, a kiss, a hand in my hand or laying on my belly....eyes that touch me as they linger on my face or stare into my eyes, a tug on my locks or just a soft caress of my scalp... touch
Touch me....

My girl Me' Shell comes on, her album Bitter is now playing in the background "I want to kiss you, Does she want you with the pain that I do? I smell you in my dreams... But now when we’re face to face, you won’t look me in the eye. No time, no friendship, no love...Don’t say, don’t touch you, I can’t touch you, no more ....Can’t touch you any more, any more...I don’t touch you anymore" .....he sits up and I sit up behind him and reach out for one last touch...I warm my hands and place them on his back, wanting him to feel the heat of my touch, my energy....giving him back some of the energy the he has given to me. I feel his breath through his shirt as he inhales and then exhales....ahh touch... Let me touch you...

Came across this poem....

Never Offer Your Heart to Someone Who Eats Hearts
by Alice Walker

Never offer your heart
to someone who eats hearts
who find heartmeat
delicious
but not rare
who sucks the juices
drop by drop
and bloody-chinned
grins
like a God.
Never offer your heart
to a heart gravy lover.
Your stewed, overseasoned
heart consumed
he will sop up your grief
with bread
and send it shuttling
from side to side
in his mouth
like bubblegum.
If you find yourself
in love
with a person
who eats hearts
these things
you must do.
Freeze your heart
immediately,
Let him—next time
he examines your chest—
find your heart cold
flinty and unappetizing.
Refrain from kissing
lest he in revenge
dampen the spark
in your soul.
Now,
sail away to Africa
where holy women
await you
on the shore—
long having practiced the art
of replacing hearts
with God and Song

Damn my coffee addiction....

So I walk into my local Starbucks this morning as I do every morning and the barista calls out my drink as he does every morning, cause I have what some may call a habit and he knows my drink before I open my mouth.... So I feel someone looking at me, and turn around. There he is, gotta be at least 6'5 but i am not sure cause I dont have my heels on and my dimensions are a little thrown off. But he is over 6' tall and handsome..."excuse me" he says..nice voice ...did I pay for my coffee yet? "i couldn't help but stare...u are beautiful..and I am always drawn to beauty." (wow that was sweet I think) "thank you" I say and smile.....thinking I should get his info..damn i need coffee now. "exquisite..." he says. (oh my) "u are such a flatterer" as say as i turn to pay for my coffee....how long is it gonna be before my grande skim mocha with whip is done..i look over the counter for my drink and plan to flirt a little more as we wait for our coffee... "have a great day beautiful" he says walking out the door. My mind is still focused on the caffeine fix it desperately needs and only half registers that, this possibility is floating out of the door. Mocha now...damn these people in front of me....why is her order so complicated.... who orders a "Double Ristretto Venti Nonfat Organic Chocolate Brownie Frappuccino Extra Hot with Foam and Whipped Cream" ...damn .....coffee i need coffee now! ah coffee .....I look up and my now fully functioning brain realizes that Mister Compliment is gone...this 6'+ beauty with a great smile and sexy voice, and - i think my subconscious registered a nice suit & tie under his open coat...who called me exquisite at 9am in the morning before i even put on any makeup...he has gone on about his day and i am left holding my grande skim mocha with whip.. damn that caffeine feels good going down....maybe I'll see him tomorrow.....

Thoughts on Valentine's Day...

1. this is the 1st V-day I can honestly say I am not secretly depressed or enivous of those souls who have found romantic love and are blissfully happy as they eat chocolate & have flowers delivered.
2. why does 2/14 dictate so many emotions
3. I am working on Oyo...... and I can see progress. My emotions today have allowed me to see my growth.
4. I know the flowers I sent to my sister made her smile & forget that she hates Troy MI for at least for that moment when the flowers were delivered to her desk and all eyes were on her! and maybe that dude from the elevator will hear about them or see them and realize he better step up his game.
5. I hate that people are sad....i especially hate when my friends are in a funk because it is phyiscally & spiritually painful for me.... if I was cupid i'd make everyone fall madly in love with thier soulmate ;o)
6. Life is to be lived.....
7. Breathe .....
8. Be....

cause tomorrow is Valentines Day...

Seduction
one day
you gonna walk in this house
and i'm gonna have a long African
gown
you'll sit down and say "The Black..."
and i'm gonna take one arm out
then you-not noticing me at all- will say "What about this brother..."
and i'm going to be slipping it over my head
and you'll rap on about "The revolution..."
while i rest your hand against my stomach
you'll go on-as you always do- saying
"I just can't dig..."
while i'm moving your hand up and down
and i'll be taking your dashiki off
then you'll say "What we really need..."
and taking your shorts off
then you'll notice
your state of undress
and knowing you you'll just say
"Nikki/
isn't this counterrevolutionary..."

I want......

I want to fall in love so hard that it hurts to breathe..
I want to be able to get on the treadmill and run on level 8 for 45 straight minutes...
I want to smack the shit out of that fine ass brotha I jus saw walking down the street with that white chick and didnt even have the decency to look ashamed
I want to buy that brownstone on Carlton, and each of my friends to buy up each house on Carlton bet Dekalb & Willoughy....and jus run shit!
I want to send my son to an all Black private school, that is on par with Packer Collegiate & Brooklyn Friends..
I want Bush to be impeached...
I want to see Black Men when I get to work, who dont work in the mailroom....
I want to be respected...
I want to be more tolerant and understanding...
I want to walk into a store and by something off the rack and not have to alter it to fit my waist & hips not jus fit one or the other....
I want my friend to make a movie that resonates my story....not that new black exploitation B*llSh*t
I want to fall in love with a man who stimulates me Mentally, Physically and Spiritually and when i think him it hurts to breathe....

My Tribesmen....

Ok....I had a date last night with a guy from Senegal. He cooked me dinner and we talked and listened to music. He originally put on Bob Marley I guess he thought I would enjoy that and I do....but I requested that he put on Youssou Ndour. He seemed pleasantly surprised that I knew of the artist and even requested to hear him. The evening was very enjoyable and it has been a while since a man cooked a meal for me. But it put two questions in my head...
1. Can I really date and even consider a serious relationship with someone from such a different culture?
2. Am I guilty of Black on Black Racism?

Before you shout or scream, most of the men I have dated have been of Caribbean descent and I have only dated 2 African Americans. However the Caribbean dudes were basically raised here and I consider them to be American anyway! So back to Fulani (that’s what I'll call him since that is the tribe that he belong to) He seems really sweet, maybe a bit needy but sweet. However something is giving me pause....and I know deep down inside it is because his culture is so different than mine. Mind u I was raised in a very African centered household (everything we wore had to be made of African print) and consider myself a Pan African/ Black Nationalist. In spite of this I still feel I am mostly drawn to my own kinsmen... African Americans and when I picture my future mate this is who I see. I jus feel as though there has been no experience like the one of the Africans dropped off in North America. This is who I am; my kinsmen and I share a bond a history that no one else can understand. Now I am well aware of all the issues we face and I pause to wonder if I am shooting my self in the foot and really be open to casting a wider dating net......But I know what I want....and I want what I want! So as I continue to date Fulani....I have to figure out if I can let go and let it flow. I think I am guilty of black on black racism ;o(

PS....Fulani men are very beautiful...;o)

Roll Bounce

Saturday was my little sister's birthday. Ok we are the same age but technically I am 7 months older than she is so I am the big Sis, anyway she decided to have a roller skating party at the historical Empire Roller Rink in BKLYN. I was so excited because all my brothers and sisters can skate to some degree cause my dad loved to skate, and Empire is where it all happened. Anyway I talked mad trash all week about how I was gonna wear my tiny mini skirt to the party and skate circles around everyone.... and I had every intention of doing so but at the last minute I threw on my jeans...

the music was pumping and we had such a great time.. I forgot how much fun it is to dance on your skates with a partner.. we also played a game of tag that we used to play as kids...basically you try to stay in front of every else which is kinda crazy since your skating in a circle. But pretty much when you reach the current leader you tap them and cut them off with a flare of style..a sway of the hips or a extra little two step and then take off with speed before you get tagged.There is definitely and element of showing off and posing to skating, is this something that only Black people do or is it something that other cultures partake in also? I always wonder about this..no one else seems to talk as much trash as we do or as good as we do. Like there should be an Olympic trash talking competion categories
1. Sports
2. Spades
3. all other card games
4. checkers
5. Scrabble ( yeah we talk trash here also I have I sister that proclaims before every game " pick a language to play in and I whip your ass in it what cha got....spanish, french, only cuss words....BRING IT!)
6. cooking skills
7.......the list goes on and on if we think were good at it...we will talk trash!


Back to the party.....to top it off I must of been in my cardio zone all night cause a sister was SWEATING! Can't wait to go again about 4 of us are going to try and go at least once a month. I'll see if it happens!

Patron of the Arts

ok so I have been feeling very cultured lately in the past 7 days I attended 3 Art events:
1. Bridge & Tunnel- Friday night with Sam
2. The Seven- Saturday Night with Russatta & Maj
3. The Black Fine Arts Show- Thursday Night with Russatta & Kevin

Bridge and Tunnel is an amazing one woman show, where she does about 12 characters all immigrants and touchs on a lot of important issues that we dont normally talk about. I really enjoyed the show and laughed all night. I recommend everyone go see it.

The Seven....ok i dont know where to start with this one but this was my favorite of all three events. I guess I should start by saying that it is playing at the New York Theater Workshop if you know the theater scene then i am sure you have heard of this place. So back to the performance. It is a hip-hop remake of the classic Greek Tragedy Seven againt Thebes.... Ok dust off those HS & College textbook the story line is basically starts where the King Oedipus story leaves off. I LOVED IT...please go see it, we found out after that all shows are $20 on Sundays.

The Black Fine Arts Show...ok so highlight of the evening.... a Gallery owner basically sized our trio up and lets us know "you are my future customers". Translation come back in 10 years when you grow up and can drop $85M ....thats right boys and girls $85,ooo on a pretty picture to hang in your Apt. I love the scene though and always feel quite sophistcated to sip wine, walk, smooze, and talk about art with great company. I am learning more and more about art and have 3 peices at home...my friend Rico is teaching me how to be an Art Snob ;o)

Next week it is on to see Evidence perform... i am really looking forward to this one. A friend of mine dances in the company (can we say beautiful body) and I have seen them perform before....Oh yeah one last thing Kevin was looking really good in that suit!